The Late Nite Landfill: "RoboCop: Prime Directives"

I know what you’re thinking. You’ve heard of the trilogy of RoboCop movies. You may have even heard of both the live-action and animated RoboCop TV series. But what the heck is “RoboCop: Prime Directives?”

Are you sure you want to know? You can always turn back now...

For those who chose to read further, here’s the deal: at some point a company called Fireworks Entertainment apparently got the TV option on the famed RoboCop character, and right before their rights lapsed in 2000, they squeezed out a television mini-series. “Prime Directives” is a compilation of bits and pieces of that mini-series.

A little refresher course: the original “RoboCop” was directed by Paul Verhoeven and was a scathing satire on the out-of-control media, out-of-control weapons manufacturers and a few out-of-control law enforcement officials (but thankfully plenty of good ones, too). It also delivered high-octane action, high-concept sci-fi elements, and a high body count. And it starred Peter Weller in the title role, veteran of such cult classics as “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Across the 3rd Dimension” and “Of Unknown Origin.” In short, it was the perfect genre film, appealing equally to fans of sci-fi, horror, fantasy, action and superhero movies.

It all went downhill from there.

“RoboCop 2” was written by popular comic book writer Frank Miller. It maintained a dark satirical edge but was ultimately a nasty tale with an ill-conceived plot about an underage, murderous drug kingpin. It was so poorly received that Miller didn’t fully re-immerse himself in the film scene until urged by Robert Rodriguez to write and co-direct 2005’s “Sin City,” based on Miller’s gritty neo-noir comic series of the same name.

The 2nd one was so dark that the keepers of the ‘Cop had a knee-jerk reaction that sent them completely in the opposite direction for “RoboCop 3.” The Weller-less, family-friendly third installment (which actually had its origins in a Frank Miller script although it’s doubtful much of it remained in the final cut) made barely a whimper at the box office, yet served as the template for the “RoboCop: The Series” live-action show as well as the eponymously-titled animated series.

With “Prime Directives,” the producers set out to return ‘ol Robo to his dark, violent roots. They just forgot to include the biting social commentary/satire and the black humor. It’s always a better idea to temper the dark with a little levity, and to back it up with some kind of subtext. Otherwise all you’re left with is bargain basement nihilism... a deadly ingredient guaranteed to bring any genre film down.

This is actually not the first time “Prime Directives” has shown up on ABC’s late movie. I actually had trouble sleeping one night and groggily flipped on the TV (in hopes of being lulled back to sleep) only to see the final scenes of this “film” play out. And let me tell you, what I saw was pretty bad. This film reeks of two things: no budget (aka: bad special effects) and Canadian actors. Not that Canadian actors are necessarily bad mind you (I actually enjoy some of the Canadian crime drama shows that have made their way to US soil like “Da Vinci’s Inquest,” the familiar-sounding “Cold Squad” - yes, it was around a bit before the mega US “Case” - and “Stone Undercover”), but when you’re watching a movie and you not only don’t recognize any actors but make note of their regional accents and TV show-style approach to acting, well, you get the picture.

There is a major element of cheese here, and it has to do with a rogue cop who becomes Robo’s nemesis. I’m not sure if he’s just wearing an exo-skeleton style armor or whether he’s mostly machine, too (like I said, I only saw the tail-end of this), but he is wearing a bony Skeletor-like skull mask. Which may sound cool but looks utterly ridiculous, especially with the clichéd, evil raspy voice coming out of it. Cheesy with a capital CHEESE.

Anyway, you’ll find a more in-depth review at the Scifi Moviepage site. They are a little more kind to the film than I am, although they share some of the same issues. And just so you’re not left on a completely dour note, click here to see to see the trailer for the “home-made” version of “RoboCop” that appeared in “Be Kind, Rewind.”

You can view the trailer for “RoboCop: Prime Directives” here: