The Late Nite Landfill: "Shaka Zulu: the Citadel"

Sometimes a blog entry is just handed to you like a gift. Sometimes, Channel 7 schedules a movie in its late night slot that, based on the lead actor alone, allows the blog to practically write itself (”Kill Me Later” comes to mind). This Saturday, Channel 7 presents just such a movie. A movie that enables you to read no further than the two words I’m about to type. Ladies and gentlemen... I give you...

“THE HOFF!”

That’s right, good ‘ol David Hasselhoff has finally put in an appearance on this blog.

Of course, I’m hoping you’ll continue to read on because amazingly, there are other dubious pleasures to be found in “Shaka Zulu: the Citadel.”

But first, the Hoff. Where to start? Primarily a TV actor, he is best known for interacting with a talking hot rod built for speed on “Knight Rider,” and for interacting with talking hot bods built for spandex and speedos on “Baywatch.”

But that’s not all... the Hoff is also a singer. Don’t believe me? Then watch this music video.

What’s that? You watched the video and still don’t believe me?

That won’t stop millions of people in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland from buying his albums. He is to those countries what Jerry Lewis is to France. He’s not quite as big in Brazil, though.

These days, he splits his time between trouble with ex-wives, trouble with alcohol, trouble convincing the world outside of Europe to take his singing career seriously, and trouble staying on the set of “America’s Got Talent” when confronted by such stellar acts as Boy-Shakira. Ultimately, I have to give him credit for perseverance. He seems rather adept in the “keep on keepin’ on” department, able to keep standing tall (he’s 6’4” ) in the face of everything.

The backdrop of this movie is the historical and controversial Shaka Zulu, the warrior king and the Zulu nation he ruled (the controversy being that certain elements held to as fact by some are deemed fiction by others). The Phantom is inclined to believe a bit more than the basics, and is not bothered by the possibility that other elements may have been embellished (the majority of history books are almost always at least a quarter fiction after all).

There have been several TV and movie projects built around this theme, the most famous being the “Shaka Zulu” television mini-series from 1986. Some of these adaptations have been taken to task for their historical inaccuracies, but from accounts the Phantom has dug up on the web, it appears “Shaka Zulu: the Citadel” has all comers beat in the fiction department.

Amazingly, there are others besides Hoff in this cast. We’ve already spoken about Indy Jones’ gal pal Karen Allen back in this post about “Falling Sky.” And Omar Sharif is someone who’s been around forever who really should need no introduction, but in case you don’t know him, you can always imdb him. Or watch the trailer for “Dr. Zhivago.” Or better yet, watch this scene from one of my all-tme favorite movies, “Top Secret.”

Which leaves us with one other notable cast member... someone who puts this movie as much into the kitsch zone as the Hoff: Grace Jones!

She’s been a model, a singer, and an actress, with her biggest heyday coming in the 1980s. Let’s face it, she’s just one of those unique characters who people either love or are completely baffled by. And by unique I mean completely unique – she has a unique look, unique mannerisms, and unique movements, all of which you can see in the links above. Perhaps the producers felt her exotic presence would provide the perfect balance to Hoff’s ham-fisted heroics.
…and getting back to Hoff, he does have a tenuous tie to some of this summer’s biggest blockbusters: he was the first actor to play the role of Marvel Comics character Nick Fury, a role now savored by the ubiquitous Samuel L. Jackson.

I don’t have a trailer for this one, but I do have a clip with Miss Jones that you can view here: